Dave and George. Definitely strivers.

Let me introduce Dave and George.

George is a striver, and so is Dave. George, for example, strove so hard that before he was even born he’d managed to move into the womb of a woman who was married to a multi-millionaire aristocrat.

And Dave had, by the sweat of his brow, managed to issue from the loins of a multi-millionaire tax-avoiding stockbroker.

George Osborne evil
George Osborne being nothing like a Dickensian villain.

They have worked for everything they’ve got. None of it has been handed to them on a plate. They are not scroungers.

After the hard work they put into being born to wealthy people, Dave and George both struggled to save enough money to go to Eton and St Paul’s. They managed to do this because, in their own parlance, they are strivers. Even at the age of 13 they were earning enough to pay the minimum £30,000 per annum attendance fee. It wasn’t their dads who paid, because Dave and George are strivers.

Not scroungers.

It wasn’t all easy for Dave. He had to battle to stay away from the bad influence of all those wealthy children in tiny class sizes, but he succeeded in concentrating on working hard and not idling his days away smoking pot (except for that time he was almost expelled for smoking pot).

He’s a striver.

David Cameron
David Cameron is not a privileged buffoon.

After Eton, Dave and George moved to Oxford University, which is so egalitarian that almost 2% of its intake for the last 50 years has come from people whose parents are in the lowest 50% of earners. Dave, although the child of a multi-millionaire, was deemed so poor that he had to have his university education paid for by all the rest of us, just like he wants you and your children to never ever have. He even got a special grant, called an “Exhibition”, which thankfully put another few quid into his massively deep pocket.

But he’s still definitely not a scrounger.

While at Oxford they avoided idle and disreputable behaviour like drinking heavily and smashing up restaurants (except for the that time they joined a club that’s famous for drinking heavily and smashing up restaurants).

And after university, they both worked exceptionally hard. George, for example, has had three jobs. Not at the same time, of course. Not like most of the poorest working families have to. No, he had one job at a time, so he could really focus on it. His first job was as a part-time data-entry clerk at an NHS office, responsible for entering the names of dead people into a computer. His second job was folding towels at Selfridge’s store.

His third job was Chancellor of the Exchequer. Which he richly deserves, because he’s a striver.

Dave, by contrast, went out into the world to make his own way. He did this by getting his dad to give him his first three jobs, and then getting a position as a parliamentary aide to his godfather, who was an MP. This proves that Dave has had nothing handed to him on a plate, and is a hard-working striver.

As soon as they were MPs they got their heads down to the serious business of helping their fellow man, interrupted only occasionally by the need to claim expenses of £21,000 per annum for Dave’s mortgage and around £100,000 over 10 years to fund the paddock – you know, for the horses – at George’s Cheshire home.

And today they continue to work hard in your interests, by cutting the tax paid by them and their friends and neighbours and then cutting the income for people who are too idle or sick or cancerous to be born in Chipping Norton.

And for that I say: Thank God. Thank God we are led by strivers, and not scroungers.